You're the one who holds everything together.
And you're exhausted.

Put It Down is a 12-week live group community cohort for women who carry everyone else's emotions, needs, and expectations - and are ready to stop abandoning themselves in the process.

Apply for the founding cohort

 Starts Tuesday, September 29 · 8 spots · Applications close September 22

Does this sound like you?

You walk into a room and know immediately that something is off.

Someone says "I'm fine" and your brain gets a new full-time job.

You say yes before you've checked with yourself, then resent it for a week.

You're the one everyone leans on. You couldn't say who you lean on.

You feel guilty resting. Guilty saying no. Guilty for being tired.

You replay conversations at 2am looking for the part where you were too much.

And if someone asked what you need right now - you genuinely wouldn't know.

If you read that and felt something in your chest, you're in the right place.

Why knowing hasn’t fixed this

You've probably done the work.

Therapy. The books. The podcasts. A folder of screenshots about boundaries you've never quite used. You can explain your patterns more clearly than most people can explain their own.

And you still do it.

That isn't a failure of insight. It's that these patterns don't live where insight can reach them.

Somewhere early, your nervous system learned that you were safest when you carried more than your share. That scanning the room kept things calm. That being easy, useful, and low-maintenance was how you stayed connected to people. And then - because that's what nervous systems do - it automated all of it.

It doesn't check with you first. It doesn't wait for you to decide whether this particular person's mood is yours to manage. By the time you notice, you've already picked it up.

Which is why you can't think your way out of this. You have to practice your way out - repeatedly, in your real life, with support.

That's what these twelve weeks are.

The Four Patterns

Most women see themselves in all four. That's the point - these aren't personalities, they're survival strategies, and they all come from the same belief: it's my job to carry more than my share.

The Emotional Manager

You absorb everyone's emotions and stay hyper alert to every change in someones mood, tone, and facial expressions.

The Peacekeeper

You manage everyone's comfort, people please and silence your own needs.

The Hyper-Responsible Rescuer

You manage everyone's problems and give more than asked.

The Strong One

You manage everything alone. You struggle to receive support and believe if you don’t do it no one else will.

Not sure which one runs the show for you?

Take the quiz

What this actually is

Put It Down is twelve weeks of showing up on a Tuesday with other women who understand exactly what you're describing, because they're doing it too.

Every week we ground first - nervous system before anything else. Then we learn something real about why you do this. Then you write, and then we talk about it together as a group.

And every week you leave with one small experiment to try in your actual life. Support someone without solving it. Ask for help once. Let someone be disappointed and don't fix it.

That last part is where the change actually happens. Not in the teaching - in the week between.

This isn't therapy, and it isn't a course you watch alone at midnight. It's a small group, a real curriculum, and twelve weeks of practicing the thing you already understand perfectly well and still can't do.

Additionally: If youre struggling in between our group sessions, we have a slack community. So we can share our wins, challenges with each other, and hold each other accountable. I will pop in there to answer questions and to remind us of our weekly challenges.

The Twelve Weeks

We start with why you do this, move into what's actually yours, and spend the back half practicing -  in your real relationships, with the group behind you.”

*Subject to change based upon groups needs

Week 1 · Sept 29 - Foundations & The Four Patterns

Getting to know each other. Group agreements. What this container is and isn't. The Emotional Manager, the Hyper-Responsible Rescuer, the Peacekeeper, the Strong One - and the one belief underneath all four.

Week 2 · Oct 6 - Your Nervous System

The  fawn response, your window of tolerance, and the first skills to come back into it.

Week 3 · Oct 13 - Self-Abandonment & Self-Compassion

What self-abandonment actually costs — resentment, burnout, exhaustion, loneliness. What self-trust is and how it gets broken. Self-compassion as a practice, not a feeling..

Week 4 · Oct 20 - Hyper-Responsibility vs. Empathy

The distinction that changes everything. What's yours, what isn't, what's shared. The Responsibility Audit, walked through together — including the resistance that comes up while you're doing it.

Week 5 · Oct 27 - Rescuing vs. Supporting

Why boundaries activate your nervous system. Saying it once, without over-explaining. Pause Before the Yes. Questions to ask before you respond to someone.

Week 7 · Nov 10 - Needs, Wants & Values

"I don't even know what I need." Telling needs from wants. Why your needs feel unsafe. Choosing from your values instead of from guilt.

Week 8 · Nov 17 - Tolerating Guilt & Disappointment

Guilt as nervous system noise, not moral information. Distress tolerance skills. Sitting with someone else's discomfort without fixing it. Deliberately placed the week before you'll need it most.

Week 9 · Nov 24 - Holidays, Family & Boundaries

Everything so far, aimed at the hardest room you'll be in this year. Planning specific boundaries for specific people. Scripts. What to do when the guilt hits at the table. Managing your nervous system in a house that taught it to scan. And how to recover afterward.

Week 10 · Dec 1 - Where It Began

Emotionally immature parenting, parentification, family roles, core beliefs - taught, not processed. Compassion without over-identification. It lands here on purpose: you'll have just been home.

Over-giving, and absorbing other people's problems as your own. What support looks like when you're not carrying. Letting another adult have their own emotional experience.

Week 6 · Nov 3 - Boundaries Without Guilt

Week 11 · Dec 8 - Living Differently

Practicing new patterns. Receiving help without earning it back. Asking directly. Receiving help. Building relationships that are reciprocal rather than obligated.

Week 12 · Dec 15 - Integration & Moving Forward

Celebrating wins. Reflecting on what shifted. Who are you without carrying everyone? You'll write your personal maintenance plan — and your plan for Christmas and New Year — before you leave. Who you are without carrying everyone.

The Holidays

Every year you white-knuckle the holidays.

You manage everyone's feelings at the table. You absorb the comment about your job, your body, your choices. You keep the peace, you clear the plates, and you drive home wondering why you feel like you've been hit by a truck.

And then you tell yourself next year will be different.

This cohort runs straight through it, on purpose.

The week of Thanksgiving, we plan your boundaries together - for your actual family, with actual words, before you walk in the door. The week after, you bring back what happened. And in December, you leave with a written plan for the rest of it.

Not "here's what you should have done." What you actually did, while it was happening, with women who get it.

What Tuesdays look like

4:30 — We ground. Five minutes. Nervous system first, before anything else.


4:35 — Teaching. Twenty to thirty minutes on that week's topic, in plain language.

5:05 — Journaling. Quiet, guided, on the page.

5:15 — Discussion. This is where it stops being information.

5:40 — Your challenge for the week. One small, specific thing.

5:45 — Done. And Slack carries it until next Tuesday.

Everything You Get

✓ Twelve 75-minute live sessions - Tuesdays, 4:30–5:45 PM ET, September 29 through December 15

✓ A small group, capped at 8 women, so there is genuinely room for you to talk

✓ A nervous system grounding practice to open every session

✓ Weekly teaching on the real mechanics - the four patterns, the fawn response, your window of tolerance, hyper-responsibility vs. empathy, rescuing vs. supporting, boundaries, needs, guilt, self-trust

✓ A private Slack community for the full twelve weeks - for the wins, the questions, and the night before the hard conversation

✓ A journal prompt every Monday, tied to that week's teaching

✓ A weekly challenge - one small, specific thing to practice before we meet again

✓ A weekly accountability thread: "What are you putting down this week?"

✓ A dedicated Thanksgiving session on holidays, family, and boundaries -  planned in advance, for your actual people

✓ A written maintenance plan, and a plan for the rest of the holidays, before you leave

✓ The full digital library - the Over-Responsibility workbook, the Integration Guide, the Responsibility Audit, zoom sessions recorded

✓ An invitation into the alumni community when you finish

Who this is for

This is for you if…

  • You feel responsible for other people's emotions

  • You struggle to name what you need, or even notice it

  • You feel guilty every single time you set a boundary

  • You grew up managing an unpredictable, critical, or emotionally immature adult

  • You monitor, fix, rescue, and over-function without deciding to

  • You know exactly what you should do and cannot seem to do it

  • You want practice, not more information

This isn't the right fit if…

  • You're in acute crisis and need individual clinical care right now

  • You're looking for one-on-one therapy - this is a group educational program, not treatment

  • You can't make most Tuesdays live

  • You want something you can watch on your own time. This one only works if you show up.

About Alyssa

I'm Alyssa Kushner, a licensed clinical social worker. I work with hypervigilant, hyper-responsible women who carry everyone else.

I built this because I kept watching the same thing happen. Women would understand their patterns completely - could name them, explain them, trace them all the way back - and still not be able to stop. Not because they weren't trying hard enough. Because insight was never the missing piece.

What actually changes it is doing something different, over and over, while your nervous system slowly learns that the discomfort isn't danger. That's repetitive and uncomfortable and much easier with other people doing it next to you.

So that's what I made. Im SO excited for you to join me!!

Pricing

Founding cohort
$397 a month for three months or $1,000 paid in full

Payments are taken at enrollment, then again at 30 and 60 days. Everything is paid before the program ends.

This is the founding price, and it exists because you'll be the first group through. In exchange I'm asking for your honest feedback along the way - what worked, what didn't, what you'd change. It won't be this price again.

Not the right season for something this big? The Over-Responsibility Reset covers a lot of the same ground, self-guided, for $67.

How to join

  1. Apply. About ten minutes. I just want to understand what you're carrying and what you’re looking for to make sure its the right fit.

  2. Discovery call with me. We will talk through what youre seeking and discuss together if this is the right fit for you. 

  3. You're in. I send your payment link, and everything else you need before we start on September 29.

Start your application

What People Are Saying

  • Communication was top-notch and the final outcome was even better than we imagined. A great experience all around.

    — Former Customer

  • Their attention to detail and commitment to quality truly stood out. We’ve already recommended them to others.

    — Former Customer

  • Every detail was thoughtfully executed. We're thrilled with the outcome, and have already recommended them to others.

    — Former Customer

Frequently Asked Questions

  •  No. It's a group educational program. It isn't a substitute for individual treatment, and I'm not acting as your therapist. It sits alongside therapy very well - a lot of women here are doing both.

  •  Almost everyone here has. This isn't insight - it's practice. Different thing entirely, and the reason the understanding you already have hasn't translated yet.

  • Sessions are recorded and Slack stays open. Miss more than three and it stops working, which is worth knowing before you apply.

  • Not at first. But it works better when you do, and groups get there faster than people expect. Nobody will put you on the spot.

  • No. There's teaching, there's practical work, and there's a fair amount of laughing. Recognizing yourself in a room of women describing your exact life is often a relief before it's anything else.

  • Sessions are 4:30–5:45 PM Eastern. If that's a workable hour where you are, you're welcome.

  • You're invited into the alumni community — and you'll leave with a written maintenance plan, because the pull comes back and you should have something ready when it does.

  • The Over-Responsibility Reset is $67 and covers a lot of the same material, self-guided. Start there. This will run again.

You've spent a long time being the one who holds it together.

Apply for the founding cohort

Twelve weeks isn't very long. But it's long enough to find out who you are when you're not carrying all of it.

Starts September 29 · 8 spots · applications close September 22